Don’t be a D-Bag

If I bump into someone in the hall, I say “Excuse me.” I tip the pizza guy, valet, and my barista.  When I’m speaking to customer service representatives, I try to be as calm as possible because the fact is that Directv is screwing me has little to do with that person personally.

If you don’t tip, if you yell at customer service people to make yourself feel better, you are a douche. You, therefore, will be TREATED like a douche by myself and millions of others. If you recognize yourself in the following behaviors, you are a d-bag.

Axe Body Spray.

“No offense, but…”

Popping your collar at work

(For female d-bags) Wear fake lashes/extensions to work

You refer to anyone at work as “bro”

Deep v-necks and blazers.

Last in the office, first out for happy hour.

Coming to work on Fridays smelling like a bar + dumpster and saying you don’t “feel well” and “maybe it’s the flu”.